#which wasn't.... ideal
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
good news all. my parents think I should be a writer. lol
#personal#i'm unemployed at the moment and they think i should go into travel writing#or ANY writing#this is wild and rich b/c they haven't read anything i've written in like a decade#and don't know my fics even exist#or the original projects i've worked on#i'm dying to know what they think it is i do all day#it's funny b/c they've always insisted they're supporting of my writing#but last time i shared it with them they either didn't read it or never spoke to me about it#or just were like “yeah you wrote something!”#which wasn't.... ideal#so you could say i have a weird relationship with my parents and my writing#and i do believe this is tied into why i have such a hard time talking about my writing in real life#i take it so seriously but the people who raised me just.... don't#OR DO THEY?
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
what are your thoughts on Madoka and Sayaka's relationship? I always thought it was underrated for how complex and tragic it is.
Madoka and Sayaka's relationship function similarly to that of a knight and a princess, so both their friendship or couple pairing are interesting to me. It seems to be intentional that Sayaka was crafted with a knight motif in mind to click with Madoka's vulnerability. The tragedy is that Sayaka was way too young and inexperienced to be shouldering such expectations in a friendship. Taking up the role of a protector at every turn because she wanted to protect everyone has always been a contributing factor to how fast Sayaka burned out.
Contrarily, Madoka's struggle with her own helplessness throughout the show was also part of the reason why Sayaka said a lot of terrible thing to her, but deeply regretted her actions to the point where she succumbed to Witching out away from Madoka. Madoka, at least in this "final" timeline, was not there to see her own childhood best friend change into something else. To, in a way, "die", and be reborn as the same monster that all magical girls were hunting after in a frenzy. Homura was right that Sayaka brings Madoka grief — it seems that in almost timeline, since Sayaka becomes a Witch as long as she becomes a magical girl unlike Mami or Kyoko, Sayaka is a consistent source of Madoka's grief. Whenever Madoka becomes a magical girl, then, her aspirations are based on Sayaka's sacrifice and ideals, except Madoka actually has the power to "save everyone". I believe Madoka loved Sayaka as Sayaka may not have been an "effective" magical girl, but she was the one who was willing to sacrifice her soul for her ideals, regardless of how naïve they were. To Madoka, who was so ensnared by her sense of uselessness, Sayaka was the closest thing to an idol or a star for the courage required to be a magical girl. Sayaka's desire to make the world a safer and justified place for people was so inspiring to Madoka that even when Madoka becomes Kriemhild Gretchen, the Witch's whole gimmick is "creating heaven on earth, a Witch content only if there is no more grief in existence". A prospect deeply held onto by Madoka that even Gretchen embodies it.
It's probably why Madoka's wish to save all magical girls would definitely sound equally impossible to he audience and the incubators, but Madoka herself says, "If someone says it's wrong to hope, I will tell them that they're wrong every time." Sayaka was often called foolish for her ideals and hopes, and Madoka was the only other person aside from Kyoko who understands Sayaka's struggles so much that she outright tells people that Sayaka was never wrong — this is how Madoka protects Sayaka. Madoka would never want anyone to say any of the magical girls' wishes were wrong or foolish. It was how Sayaka also found her peace at the end of the show: to be understood and not viewed as an object that would eventually be replaced in the cycle of magical girls and Witches.
Madoka and Sayaka eventually learned how to protect each other. Sayaka doesn't need to suffer from her own overbearing expectations anymore, and Madoka can finally be something even more to protect her angel: A God.
#they are so tragic#madoka makes me cry thinking about how she was so compassionate that she never actually hated any of the witches#only ever looking upon them with sadness for what they were even before she knew how Witches were made#it's why i don't like people who claim they love madoka but despise sayaka#like you do understand that Madoka loved sayaka so much she made sayaka her own angel and tells you straight up that it's not wrong to hope#madoka not being unkind to sayaka despite everything is so...makes my heart hurt#Sayaka wasn't evil or selfish she just really wanted to mean a whole lot to someone that mattered#inevitably she was emotionally charged and in that moment she forgot madoka was always there for her and vice versa#which drove her to try and quietly witch out alone in a train station with kyoko#you can say what you wish but Sayaka's ideals were so tragic that both kyoko and madoka were affected by them#and that's the biggest tragedy of it all honestly#madoka scenes make me cry and I'm not kidding she wanted to help so bad#Sayaka Archives#ASKS 💌
97 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
People dragging Rhaenys for her words to Alicent about "toiling to men" but can only do so by bringing up one incident about 20 years ago that she was actually in lockstep and equal with her husband about, not recognising that she's been on her own for the past six years, ruling her husband's seat and would have thrown his wishes into the trash if it had meant preserving her political future.
#i swear some people don't get that YEARS PASS#CIRCUMSTANCES CHANGE#PEOPLE CHANGE#even if this WAS evidence of rhaenys “toiling to men”#which i don't believe it is#she was more impassioned that corlys on the subject#she was just flipping honest that it wasn't ideal#i'll probably delete this i just-#*sigh* she was not being hypcritical#house of the dragon
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
rvb au where everything is the same but the soldiers on chorus all wear odst armor
#ideally they'd be in marine armor so felix locus and the pirates could be in odst armor but the limitations of machinima#or felix and locus could keep their armor but it's gotta be a plot point that it's reverse engineered pfl armor#which in turn can act as a plot point for the bgc + wash to be sus of felix instead of whatever they did in s11 bc that was lowkey semi ooc#as I've mentioned somewhere in a past post#like i get it the guys were stranded and desperate and lina and epsilon were mia but they weren't THAT bad off#or blue team wasn't at least since wash was being petty af and didn't bother to tell the reds that he hooked blue base up to the ships power#also tucker and caboose being in on it would be so funny#wash: im not going to hook up the reds for.....reasons#tuck and boose: lol okay. fuck those guys! (affectionate)#rvb#red vs blue#not t/oaru#will maybe rb this later w some art examples but atm I've gotta go out and garden and mulch the raised beds while it's not 85°f+ and humid#bc lemme tell yall the summer is brutal. i hate going to water the garden when it's so hot out
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm a couple days behind on the Chesterton Challenge, but in light of @isfjmel-phleg posting that piece of Tietra's backstory from the Blackberry Bushes series, I decided to skip ahead to the "mother" prompt and post this attempt at a kyrielle about her situation.
Kyrielle for Tietra
The world is locked in awful war At last, to end it I must be Forever wedded to the foe O God, be merciful to me
I come within a foreign court My name changed by a king's decree My past erased, what else remains? O God, be merciful to me
My husband's death leaves me alone Suspected as an enemy By those who hold my daughter's crown O God, be merciful to me
They aim to shape my daughter's life In ways with which I can't agree I must retreat to save her soul O God, be merciful to me Caught fast between her world and mine With foes I can't defeat or flee How can I save myself and her? O God, be merciful to me
#the chesterton challenge#the blackberry bushes#isfjmel-phleg#i came up with the idea for this when i first discovered the kyrielle form#which traditionally ends each stanza with the plea for mercy#a french form pleading for mercy seemed ideal for her situation and religious faith#i wasn't happy with the first partial attempt and thought it might seem weird to post something so niche about a friend's ocs#but now that there's recent tietra backstory to give context#i decided to try finishing#wasn't sure which name to title it with#went with the name that rietta knows her mother by#given the prompt#and the fact that the faysmondian name might fit better for a french form#poetry#fictionadventurer poetry
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
me and the boys in our persona 3 cosplays. 😎
#puppy rambles#persona 4#p4#for the record. usually i have naoto on the team and not yosuke#i just wanted to see them all in the gekkou uniforms :3#ideally i'd have yosuke teddie and naoto tbh but my friend said that wasn't optimal which. tbf is probably true-#part of me does miss having gayboy on my team though................ *stares wistfully into the distance*
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
gods at least besides everything else that has been going So Wrong, Suzy has been doing so SO much better
#my life#my cats#she's more energetic than she's been in at least a full year#like I would have gladly taken 'improved since the hospital to pre hospital levels and better bloodwork'#but she's excitedly hanging out looking out windows#and runs up and down the stairs again#and she's been jumping up onto the table a BUNCH from the floor even#she'd been using the drawers to jump over when she did go up which was way more rare#she does a little dance when she trots around sometimes#like I can't believe I didn't notice she wasn't doing all this before#I just thought she was a bit sleepier in the winter time#and/or adjusting to the move less than ideally#but no we didn't just Save Her Life and are helping Prolong It A Lot with meds#it's clearly Improved The Quality So Much#and I'm so glad we were able to do that for her at least
16 notes
·
View notes
Photo
horizon forbidden west | kotallo 1/?
#horizon forbidden west#hfw#kotallo#love the knuckle spikes he added to his arm :D#the light wasn't ideal in this spot so these are sort of composites#and i couldn't pick which i liked better#but it was such a great pose#hfw npcs
136 notes
·
View notes
Note
I feel like Kim and Roxie would have a cat that's an absolute fucking bitch to everyone but them and I felt like you needed to know this
(I should be revising rn and I'm thinking about this bitchass roxipine cat the brainrot is real)
Oh my god... just like my cat for real.....
(The bastard herself; I tried to find photos where she looked upset/angry but there are. So fucking many photos of her to parse through I cannot understate.)
Anyway. Y e s. I am ascribing to this.
#in the photo where she's biting onto my jacket: she wasn't upset w me or anything she was just being a freak 😭#i love sappho she's so fucking baby. she HATES strangers (especially strangers that are men) so she is a bit of an avoidant bitch to new pp#i imagine their cat would be less avoidant and more Confrontational about other people#didnt attach the photo of her i could use as reference to this but i also picture their cat liking to Loom Above for when they need to +#+ Strike Someone....#like scott comes over for a friendly little visit and he passes by the stairs or a bookshelf or something before anyone can stop him and +#+ just. WHAM. Angry/displeased cat to the face#asks#cassmouse#ooc#txt#roxim#roxipine#kimrox#drumswords#sp comic#spvtw#spto#might throw more tags on this in a second i just realized i started answering this before i went to see which discord tag was right-- *runs#their cat would not look like mine btw. i dont think at least. i may return with the Ideal Cat#best of luck with revisions btw!! i remember you posting abt them i believe...#to new ppl*... it said the l could fit why must it lie to me#ACK. THIS SHOULD ALSO GO IN#headcanons#scott pilgrim headcanons
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
conflicting desires for lyke and duvall in sangfielle season 2:
-duvall low-key resenting lyke over the chine thing
-lyke high-key resenting duvall over the oratorio thing and EXPECTING duvall to resent him over chine but instead it's the same one-sided tension that they had on the jade moon
i want them to be involuntary friends. I want it to look like a huge 8ft tall straight* guy calling his obviously gay best friend a wretched bitch and everyone is a little uncomfortable about it except for duvall, who may or may not be behind lyke's bizarrely bad luck when it comes to flies landing in his drinks.
(*i don't think lyke is straight but i do think he's the type of bisexual man that people assume is straight)
#broken record voice#i don't often have trans headcanons actually but sangfielle is an exception...#to me the blackwick group is T4TvsT4TvsT+ marn#lyke is joyfully trans - he's 8 ft tall because he went overboard with the transition magic#pickman and duvall are both stealth because they grew up in oppressive societies#pickman is deeply uncomfortable how vulnerable it makes her feel - she doesn't exactly hide it but will kill u for mentioning it#duvall does hide it but only because he's been hate crimed#until sapodilla - after which he receives the most idealized form of instant-srs from the bugs that his gender euphoria sky rockets#and he doesn't tell anyone exactly but everyone in the blackwick group clocks him on the change#pickman hates it and thinks he doesn't deserve such an easy out#lyke wouldprobably be happy for him if he wasn't pissed over the oratorio#es is the most well adjusted and is privately very happy for him but polite enough not to mention it#chine is trans but in the “this animal does not experience human gender and it's inappropriate to even try to make sense of it” way#chine is also the only one who has seen duvall in every stage of transition and has been enthusiastically supportive the whole time#marn is cis but if any of them hadn't already transitioned then she'd be trying to treat it like a curse to be cured.#i think pickman has had the most traditional medical transition because she distrusts magic - until she meets marn who absolutely#already has a recipe for an hrt-charm and gives one to her#duvall did some sort of terrible black-market medical transition in aldomina - the kind where he had to lie to ten thousand therapists#to convince them that he was actually a straight man and so he should be allowed to transition because a straight trans guy is safer#to society than a lesbian?? that type of horrorshow. meanwhile he's exclusively mlm (or as exclusive as he can be while fucking chine)#which pickman would have respected because to be trans is to suffer for it but nooo instead she didn't even know he was trans until the bug#transition#es is just chill. duvall eventually got a magical bug transition? well es is the magical bug for syntyche#sorry this went way off topic#i am avoiding going to work can you tell? woops#this was all to basically say that i think it'd be funny if#before the bug transition duvall low-key resented lyke for having been able to access magic transition. some guys have all the luck
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Rodimus is a better Prime because it didn't hurt for him to bond with the Matrix while for Optimus it did" headcanon/theory my beloathed.
One day I'm literally gonna snap and make a whole post addressing why what's wrong bc I'm tired of the inaccuracy and tired of ppl not understanding the Point TM of IDW and its version of the Matrix/Primacy and even more tired of people putting down Optimus in favor of Rodimus by essentially arguing that being unworthy means you deserve to be punished/put in pain bc you just weren't good enough to hold the Symbol of Ultimate Authority
#it's wrong on so many levels both in terms of lore and as well as like what the general themes of idw1 are#it's just a validation contest using the matrix as some magical symbol to decide who's the most special#which is ironically something that was a plot point in exrid/OP. specifically how stupid of an idea that is ldskjflksd#ppl revealing that they havent read anything besides mtmte/ll as usual#like half the reason ppl think optimus is a bad prime and rodimus is a good prime is literally bc like#optimus was written by an author who was specifically trying to deconstruct him (sometimes to the point of absurdity)#and rodimus was written by an author who takes a more optimistic/idealistic approach. and is also better at writing#but also like am i seriously the only person who thinks that that argument is fucked up?????#like 'OP felt pain which means he's unworthy/not a real prime/not a true leader'#ok so you think that there's a hierarchy of moral goodness in which anyone who falls short of that Moral Ideal should suffer#as a sign of their unworthiness?? like does that not sound dystopian as hell to any of you?? why would you WANT the matrix to work like tha#even if the theory were true (which it isn't) why would you view the matrix as a good authoritative moral judge of character#if its idea of 'moral judgement' is to inflict pain on anyone who's supposedly not truly good/worthy#wasn't the entire point of the ending of LL (including rodimus being a good leader) that everyone is worth it?#like rodimus literally said 'you ARE damn well good enough' or something like that#so what? everyone else in the universe tries their best and that's enough but somehow when OP suffers it's like#a sign that he's not actually a good prime/leader?? we're really going with the punitive perspective purely for One Guy??#swear to god ppl are projecting their authority issues onto Optimus the way they shit on him for things they would excuse#if any other character did it#Optimus is uniquely deserving of pain/being marked as unworthy bc idk he was a cop once and that offends my delicate sensibilities#what's even funnier is how much harm was inflicted by rodimus as a captain sheerly due to his stupidity or ego but everyone forgives him#i guess bc as long as the matrix likes him that means he's valid no matter what he actually does as a person#WHICH IS SOMETHING IDW ITSELF ARGUED AGAINST BC A LOT OF THE PRIMES THAT WERE CHOSEN BY THE MATRIX#WERE DICKS AND THE FACT THEY COULD WIELD THE MATRIX DIDN'T MAKE THEM GOOD PEOPLE#like oh my god stop using the matrix as an arbiter of moral authority in idw1 it literally goes against the themes of the story#including the themes that are embodied in rodimus himself#idw op love
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
brb, i have to go and. make strangled noises at nothing real quick; it just hit me over the head how Wyll's use of the metaphor of dancing as a stand-in for romance and intimacy really just. accompanies him all throughout his story, and how perfect it is
I guess I should have expected a character like him, that's both deeply poetic in his speech and courtly in his upbringing, would come to idealize a chivalric romance a bit, and translate his feelings on/of love to an element of courting that's as ritualistic and processional as ballroom dancing, but sometimes just realizing the obvious can really knock you off your feet for a second
like. just like how there is almost a blueprint to a perfect storybook romance in both stories and -consequently- in his head (I think romance might even be one of the literary genres with the highest number of unwritten rules that need to be fulfilled for a work to count as a romance), there is also a fairly strict method to a court dance. There is a series of well-known and practiced steps that was laid out in advance, and one is to perform them in succession, and in sync with one's partner. If one of the parties doesn't know or doesn't want to follow the rules/steps, it gets... tangled, messy, and you both stumble. The dance and the relationship both fall apart. The happy ending of a tale is not reached without all the steps in-between being followed, and he so dearly wants his fairytale ending, his happy, fulfilled love, I just---
it's such a perfect metaphor, and what makes it even more perfect is that Wyll is ostensibly aware of it, and he chose it, purposefully, and i don't want to watch the Act 3 commitment scene because I've not yet done it myself and don't want to spoil it, but I would be so surprised if he a.) made no mention of storybook romances, or b.) didn't just straight up propose y'know
i'm (metaphorically) crying, if it were possible to play this game on six different characters simultaneously without getting bored or confused I fucking would
#squirrel plays bg3#yet another way my Trevelyan works very well in this situation for me#oc: raymond trevelyan#back in the day i made him... actually very similar to what Wyll is now#he was a young man of noble birth who grew up idealizing the storybook heroes of legends and romances#and while he wasn't really that stuck on the 'perfect romance' bits; being not interested in the ladies at all...#the Noble Hero On A White Steed image and the Charming Knight Saving the Realms images did appeal to him immensely#he was gregarious and brave and chivalrous and overall just... trying his absolute best to be good#he wanted to be the a gallant hero and to experience a sweeping passionate love- both wooing and being wooed#which he did get! and he did eventually find his happy ending!#only... the stories rarely mention that heroes don't often live this far past the end of their own tales#when the evil is slain and the damsel is saved; the story simply... ends#the characters; they live on frozen in the perfect moment of true love's first kiss#and nobody really talks about what happens after- not until you must experience it for yourself#so now he's... a burnt-out ex-knight#a has-been hero whose usefulness ceased and his happy ending was torn from him by pointless intrigue#and I just LOVE the thought of him finding a new happy ending; of starting over with someone who'll rekindle his passions#and dance the night away with him#YAY FOR TAG NOVELS
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
There's a character on artfight that's literally a bowl of oranges so I had to draw this (for @doodling-fern)
#found these old chalk pastels in a rusty box and really wanted to give them a try so this was the perfect opportunity#mydrawings#Artfight#team seafoam#some of the pastels worked pretty well for being at least forty years old (i think??) but the yellow and orange gave me troubles#which wasn't ideal given. the subject matter#still it was fun :D
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
ooooh. we got an apartment!!!
the house isn't completely finished yet so we can't move in until April. we'll have to figure that out. but that's fine. it's in the town where my husband works! which is amazing.
#I'm so relieved#it looks really nice. I wasn't at the viewing but I saw pictures.#it's a ground floor apartment which we wanted. it's near some shops. it's a 30 minute walk to his work#I'm just. ahh I'm so happy that we found something#the area looks good on google maps#we're signing the lease on Tuesday :) I'll get to see it then. so if it's horrible we won't take it obviously. but like I said it looks#nice and my husband said it's nice so#so we'll probably have to move back in with his parents for two months and have our stuff in storage#but that's okay#we'll also have to buy the kitchen appliances and everything. which isn't ideal. but it's fine#and everything will be new!! it'll all work! it won't be old and disgusting and awful!!#and there's definitely not an old lady who has lived there for 40 years and thinks she gets to decide how everyone else lives :')#and it's. kind of a new start. it's a 30 minute drive from here. not far at all but it feels very far to me (not in a bad way)#it's closer to a city too. not so close that it'd bother me but definitely nicer if we want to go there. which might be good I think#I'm tired of living in villages. everyone is so fucking close-minded and they know everything about you and. yeah no it's not for me. took a#while to realise that but. yeah. not doing that again. small towns are not that different but it IS definitely different#anyway guys I'm so relieved 😌😌😌#personal
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Rotting again o7
#ursa rants#More for the tags than anything else.#I'm missing... basically everyone right now.#Our social circles consist entirely of *Toyhou.se* mutuals at the moment which. Ah. ISN'T EXACTLY IDEAL.#But if I do what I've realized I'm starting to do very consistently‚ and cut THEM off‚ then what's left?#Literally nothing.#So‚ isolation or constant stress?#Being alone or always holding my tongue?#Is it better to be surrounded by people who would hate you if they really knew you‚ or to have nobody at all?#Things to think about‚ things to think about~#The Toyhou.se situation has already gotten me into two waves of drama within a month. Somehow‚#I'm getting hate anons‚ despite the fact I didn't put any hint of what my sideblog was anywhere.#So that option's proven to be bad.#But where else are we supposed to go? Should I crawl right back to. ahem. certain servers?#The bridges ***I*** burnt?#Because it wasn't us. It was me.#*I* made the choice. And *stars‚* it felt right for a while.#But now‚ not counting my source memories‚ I feel more alone than I ever have.#Average issues‚ I suppose~!
2 notes
·
View notes